Single Muslims Blog

The worst relationship that you can find yourself in is most definitely an abusive relationship. Only you know how and when it all started. What you probably don’t know is how and when to end it. If you are being physically abused then you should have left or done something about it the first time it happened. Now if you have been in this abusive relationship for a very long time, you probably have become so used to it and you have reached the stage of learned helplessness. At this stage of your life you have decided to give up and do nothing. You don’t even complain anymore. You go with the flow and literally roll with the punches. You even have “good” days. The days when there are no violent outbursts and it’s all quiet on the western front. You even fool yourself in believing that things are changing. In fact all you do now is waiting for things to change. You start to think that this “peace” will last forever. You tell yourself perhaps you don’t have to leave. Because as long as you are left alone and the abuse stops, you can survive the marriage. You wouldn’t have to experience the embarrassment of a divorce. You can show everyone that they were wrong in their assumptions of your unhappiness. You start to make excuses. There are the children. Who is going to take care of them when you leave? Where will you go? You don’t have a job. No, you tell yourself. It’s better if I stay. At least we have a place to stay. The children wouldn’t have to be uprooted. We would have to find a place, a new school. No, it’s just too much effort. Rather the enemy you know. At least he’s supporting us, so it’s not that bad. Until the next violent outburst. You don’t know what you did wrong. You were so careful. The house was clean. You cooked his favourite food, not too much salt. You made quite sure everything was perfect. But you know you’re fooling yourself. The honeymoon phase is over and it’s back to square one. When will it end you ask yourself. Only you can end it of course. The abuser needs someone to abuse. Take away the victim and the abuser becomes powerless. Its time to take back your power. You have to reach deep within you to stand up and assert yourself. You have to use that last bit of energy and make that move. It’s now or never. You realize things are never going to change and this is the moment you have dreaded. Your next move can make or break the situation. You make your decision. You dial that number. Who is on the other side of the line? The Police? Your best friend? A family member? Now that you have taken that step, www.singlemuslims.co.za will provide counseling for you and your children free of charge. You will learn new coping skills; acquire problem-solving skills and get advice on how to get your life back on track again inshallah. Email us at info@singlemuslims.co.za or call 021 7612302/0723106836. Fatima Barron

We have sadly come to the last week of Ramadan. Everyone went into it with a positive mindset. This year it was going to be different. We were going to make more salaah, read more quran, give more charity, be more forgiving, more patient, spend more time with the family and generally get our dunjah and aaghierah affairs in order. If you have accomplished that then you would be entering the next phase a positive being with a good plan for your future inshallah. Maybe some of us have been thinking of finding someone new to share the future with after a failed relationship; or maybe you have decided its time to end your current relationship as it isn’t working anymore. Some of us have never been married and maybe you have decided its time to end this lonely life and find someone to grow old with. Whatever you have decided, you have come to the right place. We at www.singlemuslims.co.za will allay all your fears of starting over or making a new beginning. Some of you are scared to try again. Maybe you’ve been hurt so badly and you don’t think you can go through this again. Some of you have been alone so long that you can’t imagine sharing your personal space with a complete stranger. All this will change when you meet someone through www.singlemuslims.co.za because your life will never be the same again. It is spring and a beautiful time of the year to fall in love. You will feel rejuvenated and glad to be alive. How wonderful to have someone to love and be loved in return. All problems will seem smaller because you have someone to share them with. No more will you have to struggle on alone. The world will be a more beautiful place to live in. You will have someone to come home to; or someone to wait for your return. Your days and nights will be filled with happiness and you will feel secured and safe in the arms of your loved one. You will look forward to the weekend because you won’t be going out alone anymore. If you are ready for all the above then we are ready for the interview. We will set your mind at ease during the interview and you will be able to tell us exactly the kind of person you are looking for to share the rest of your life with. If the person is not on our data base there will be a short waiting period; but we at www.singlemuslims.co.za will do everything in our power to match every member to the best of our ability. So what are you waiting for? Go to the home page, click on registration, and send us your details. We are waiting to make your dream partner come true. Fatima Barron